I went to a creative movement for birth class last night and I learned something very important - super pregnant ladies freak me out!!!!!! As soon as I went into the room and saw several ladies about to pop I got all dizzy and almost had to put my head between my knees (good luck with that, right?). It took me almost an hour before I could look one in the eye.
I'm actually glad that I discovered this now, because I have time to work on it. Actually, during the whole class I got more and more comfortable with where I was and I asked myself what the heck was going on. I realized that until last night I never EVER thought about labor. So many oh-so-helpful (snort) ladies have told me tons of horrible stories that just left me completely shut down about the idea to the point where being in the same room as some lady about to pop almost sends me into convulsions. Not ideal.
Fortunately for me the whole class was focused toward joy and strength instead of "And then THIS is probably gonna happen! HaHaHa!" So by the time it was over I felt kinda like, "Hey, I can totally do this and it might even be kinda cool." Instead of, "Soon I'll be going to the birthing center where something super scary that I won't think about will happen and then I'll come out with my fuzzling in my hot little hands, woot."
Conclusion: Midwifery Center birthing classes are good, well meaning ladies with horror stories to tell need to be tazered.
It's a baby!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Being Pregnant Means...
When you say "I need to go to the bathroom." people don't continue on with a 20 minute long story and practically chase you into the bathroom in order to finish telling it. They say, "Oh yes, of course." and even point out the closest one. Sweet.
When you say "I'm tired." they don't ignore the comment and expect you to push through something exhausting and mind consuming. Actually they tend to get panicky and try to push you to the floor in order to immediately get you off your feet. Then they get you blanket and pillows and gummy bears. Rock on.
When you say "I really want some cake right now." They don't say, "For breakfast?" They start listing out all the different kinds of cake you could have from the closest locations. Sounds great, but is a little hard on the willpower.
When you say "My shoulder hurts a little." people don't expect you to take Advil and ignore it. Instead, you end up getting fought over by 2 chiropractors, a massage therapist, and a physical therapist who just want to fix the problem as quickly as possible so you don't even have to take Tylenol.
When you are having a hormonally unbalanced day, you get hugs and lovin's instead of the stink-eye.
Peeing all the time. ALL the time.
Getting to use the elevator at the parking garage without getting mean looks from people. Woot.
Always having someone to talk to or sing weird songs to that NEVER interrupts and gives you little kicks as a way of communicating his love for you. :cries:
Your family makes sure you know they love you all the time.
99% of people are just plain nicer to you than they normally would be. I like that part. And the 1% that is mean - for whatever reason- usually gets jumped all over by the other 99%. I rarely ever get to bust out my preggo-rage on anyone. (p.s. I hate the word preggo.)
Dear unborn fuzzling,
Had there been any resentment from the nonstop barfing and exhaustion of the first 4 months, it is all forgotten now. I cannot, however, speak for the birth. I can only assume the same will apply.
Love, Mom
When you say "I'm tired." they don't ignore the comment and expect you to push through something exhausting and mind consuming. Actually they tend to get panicky and try to push you to the floor in order to immediately get you off your feet. Then they get you blanket and pillows and gummy bears. Rock on.
When you say "I really want some cake right now." They don't say, "For breakfast?" They start listing out all the different kinds of cake you could have from the closest locations. Sounds great, but is a little hard on the willpower.
When you say "My shoulder hurts a little." people don't expect you to take Advil and ignore it. Instead, you end up getting fought over by 2 chiropractors, a massage therapist, and a physical therapist who just want to fix the problem as quickly as possible so you don't even have to take Tylenol.
When you are having a hormonally unbalanced day, you get hugs and lovin's instead of the stink-eye.
Peeing all the time. ALL the time.
Getting to use the elevator at the parking garage without getting mean looks from people. Woot.
Always having someone to talk to or sing weird songs to that NEVER interrupts and gives you little kicks as a way of communicating his love for you. :cries:
Your family makes sure you know they love you all the time.
99% of people are just plain nicer to you than they normally would be. I like that part. And the 1% that is mean - for whatever reason- usually gets jumped all over by the other 99%. I rarely ever get to bust out my preggo-rage on anyone. (p.s. I hate the word preggo.)
Dear unborn fuzzling,
Had there been any resentment from the nonstop barfing and exhaustion of the first 4 months, it is all forgotten now. I cannot, however, speak for the birth. I can only assume the same will apply.
Love, Mom
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Smartness
Yeah, being smart is totally overrated. When my mental faculties started going downhill from being pregnant, at first I was all like, "Oh no, how will I keep from stupiding myself to death?!" Now I'm all, "Yeah, I put my car keys in the toilet tank again, what of it?" (not a real example, unfortunately)
Maybe the hormones have just started to level out, but I find myself being able to spell again, which is nice. Verbal communication, on the other hand, still consists mostly of me trying to beam the image of what I am trying to convey directly into the other person's mind - that and wild and elaborate gesticulation, which can get kind of hilarious, especially if someone gets poked in the eye. Dan has become a pro at understanding me, even if I just say, "Snowblower!" He'll be all like, "Don't worry, there will be plenty of ice cream left when we get there." What a catch! Now that I know about his super pregnancy mind reading powers I will totally have more of his babies.
By the way, I like cats.
Maybe the hormones have just started to level out, but I find myself being able to spell again, which is nice. Verbal communication, on the other hand, still consists mostly of me trying to beam the image of what I am trying to convey directly into the other person's mind - that and wild and elaborate gesticulation, which can get kind of hilarious, especially if someone gets poked in the eye. Dan has become a pro at understanding me, even if I just say, "Snowblower!" He'll be all like, "Don't worry, there will be plenty of ice cream left when we get there." What a catch! Now that I know about his super pregnancy mind reading powers I will totally have more of his babies.
By the way, I like cats.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Different Stuff So Far
Standing Up
Getting up is becoming a new adventure every day! Getting off the couch? Forget it, it takes several moments of flopping about followed by rolling over onto the floor to even get off the dang thing. From there I have to do some fancy yoga moves to get myself upright. Remedy? Go buy a recliner that half propels me to my feet. Problem solved right? Not quite. It turns out that the new recliner is a cat magnet. They don't want anything to do with any other item in the room - especially if I'm sitting on it. So, the problem is that if there are cats on the chair when I need to get up (and there's always at least one) they are also propelled off the couch into the air. Poor things. I try to give them a warning, but when a pregnant lady needs to use the potty, there's really only a small window for success, so they get one nudge and then it's air time.
Sleep
What's that? Yeah, so there isn't really any of that happening - at least on my side of the bed. I wake up about every 30 minutes and then spend 10 - 15 minutes going back to sleep. This continues for 3 hours and then it's all over. I just have to get up and occupy myself for at least 3 hours before trying again. Caution: Anyone advising me to try Chamomile tea will be hunted down and have a cat propelled at them. Fortunately for me, once or twice a week I actually get a full 8 hours of sleeping for 30 minutes and then being awake for 10 - 15. This makes it so I don't actually follow through on the urges to run people over with my car when they do something deserving of it.
All that being said, I do actually have one tried and true method of falling to sleep, and that is my Shadowcat. If I can convince her to sleep next to my head, but not on it, I will conk right out. The purring she gets up to is epic and will put me down like a brick to the head (except nicer). Unfortunately, I can't have her every night because I have to leave the door open to allow for potty breaks which means that our kitten - who is very nocturnal - gets up to wacky hijinks with everything in the room that he can conceivably chase/pounce/put in his mouth. So, I only get my purr-bot sleep remedy once or twice a week when the kitten is willing to sleep too. Otherwise they all stay outside the bedroom.
All of this, I believe, is really just to prepare me for learning how to function on no sleep. Let the good times roll.
Eating
Definitely gaining more weight now than before. My love for cake has returned with a passion. Many people tell me to enjoy it while I can since I have an excuse and, for the most part, I am, but I don't think you people realize exactly how much cake I can take down in a day. (For those of you at home, the definition of cake - to me - is anything sweet that can be baked. This includes cookies, brownies, cake, muffins, and so on...) About a year before I got pregnant, I went on Weight Watchers and lost 50 lbs so that I could have any easier time with this pregnancy, which turned out to be a very good idea. Mostly that entailed not eating cake all day long and exercising a bit. Now that I am off the program (can't diet whilst pregnant) and I no longer have serious food aversions to everything, I have turned into the freakin' cookie monster! Now, I'm not a horrible mother. I make sure that the fuzzlet gets healthy noms before I fill up on cake, but at this point, I do believe that I will be right about back where I started a year and a half ago.
Now, with all that being said, I don't freaking care! I love cake right now, it sings to me like a forbidden lover to a teenaged girl and I WANT it. So I have it. But my goal now, as of this very day, is to have only one caky thing a day. This way maybe I won't look like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man by the end of this whole endeavor.
Getting up is becoming a new adventure every day! Getting off the couch? Forget it, it takes several moments of flopping about followed by rolling over onto the floor to even get off the dang thing. From there I have to do some fancy yoga moves to get myself upright. Remedy? Go buy a recliner that half propels me to my feet. Problem solved right? Not quite. It turns out that the new recliner is a cat magnet. They don't want anything to do with any other item in the room - especially if I'm sitting on it. So, the problem is that if there are cats on the chair when I need to get up (and there's always at least one) they are also propelled off the couch into the air. Poor things. I try to give them a warning, but when a pregnant lady needs to use the potty, there's really only a small window for success, so they get one nudge and then it's air time.
Sleep
What's that? Yeah, so there isn't really any of that happening - at least on my side of the bed. I wake up about every 30 minutes and then spend 10 - 15 minutes going back to sleep. This continues for 3 hours and then it's all over. I just have to get up and occupy myself for at least 3 hours before trying again. Caution: Anyone advising me to try Chamomile tea will be hunted down and have a cat propelled at them. Fortunately for me, once or twice a week I actually get a full 8 hours of sleeping for 30 minutes and then being awake for 10 - 15. This makes it so I don't actually follow through on the urges to run people over with my car when they do something deserving of it.
All that being said, I do actually have one tried and true method of falling to sleep, and that is my Shadowcat. If I can convince her to sleep next to my head, but not on it, I will conk right out. The purring she gets up to is epic and will put me down like a brick to the head (except nicer). Unfortunately, I can't have her every night because I have to leave the door open to allow for potty breaks which means that our kitten - who is very nocturnal - gets up to wacky hijinks with everything in the room that he can conceivably chase/pounce/put in his mouth. So, I only get my purr-bot sleep remedy once or twice a week when the kitten is willing to sleep too. Otherwise they all stay outside the bedroom.
All of this, I believe, is really just to prepare me for learning how to function on no sleep. Let the good times roll.
Eating
Definitely gaining more weight now than before. My love for cake has returned with a passion. Many people tell me to enjoy it while I can since I have an excuse and, for the most part, I am, but I don't think you people realize exactly how much cake I can take down in a day. (For those of you at home, the definition of cake - to me - is anything sweet that can be baked. This includes cookies, brownies, cake, muffins, and so on...) About a year before I got pregnant, I went on Weight Watchers and lost 50 lbs so that I could have any easier time with this pregnancy, which turned out to be a very good idea. Mostly that entailed not eating cake all day long and exercising a bit. Now that I am off the program (can't diet whilst pregnant) and I no longer have serious food aversions to everything, I have turned into the freakin' cookie monster! Now, I'm not a horrible mother. I make sure that the fuzzlet gets healthy noms before I fill up on cake, but at this point, I do believe that I will be right about back where I started a year and a half ago.
Now, with all that being said, I don't freaking care! I love cake right now, it sings to me like a forbidden lover to a teenaged girl and I WANT it. So I have it. But my goal now, as of this very day, is to have only one caky thing a day. This way maybe I won't look like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man by the end of this whole endeavor.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Shopping
I've just made one Girl Scout a very happy little girl. About an hour ago as I was preparing to eat some fruit salad I realized that what I really needed was a doughnut. I needed one bad enough to slap someone for it. So I informed my dear husband that we had to go to Atkins Farms, like, pronto. So we went. These are the results:
1 piece of white cake with white frosting
2 rocky-road brownies
1 bag of cider doughnuts
1 chocolate doughnut with chocolate frosting
1 honey dip doughnut
4 nectarines
1 box of clemetines
1 pint of strawberries
1 turkey sandwich
This was just the stuff I got for me, though I imagine that Dan will help out a bit in the doughnut department. As we were leaving there was a blessed little angel sitting outside selling Girl Scout cookies which I have been gagging for for months so I got:
2 boxes of Thin Mints
2 boxes of Samoas
1 box of Dosidos
1 box of Tagalongs
I thought it was interesting that rather than getting weird looks from people (I was pretty adamant about my needs at the bakery department) all I got were smiles and kindness. I guess when you have a baby bump you can do all sorts of things and have society just smile at you. I'm going to miss that. Especially the ability to order Dan to drive with me to the store for massive amounts of cakey-type things.
P.S. As soon as I got home I ate 1 clementine and then decided that I didn't really need all that other stuff just right now after all.
1 piece of white cake with white frosting
2 rocky-road brownies
1 bag of cider doughnuts
1 chocolate doughnut with chocolate frosting
1 honey dip doughnut
4 nectarines
1 box of clemetines
1 pint of strawberries
1 turkey sandwich
This was just the stuff I got for me, though I imagine that Dan will help out a bit in the doughnut department. As we were leaving there was a blessed little angel sitting outside selling Girl Scout cookies which I have been gagging for for months so I got:
2 boxes of Thin Mints
2 boxes of Samoas
1 box of Dosidos
1 box of Tagalongs
I thought it was interesting that rather than getting weird looks from people (I was pretty adamant about my needs at the bakery department) all I got were smiles and kindness. I guess when you have a baby bump you can do all sorts of things and have society just smile at you. I'm going to miss that. Especially the ability to order Dan to drive with me to the store for massive amounts of cakey-type things.
P.S. As soon as I got home I ate 1 clementine and then decided that I didn't really need all that other stuff just right now after all.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Thank God for Good Men
I'm home early today after less than 3 hours of rather unproductive work because I have already cried my eyes out 3 times over how much I already love my son, almost screamed from anger at stupid vendors (so not me) and had several dizzy spells that sent me to the floor over and over again. All I want now is to curl up and snuggle with my Honey Bear and my Shadow, but he's continuing to work hard so that I can go home and have a small meltdown. He's a good bear. At least I have my wonderful grey-cat sitting right beside me as I type, ready to fill my lap with purrs the second I get off the computer. And just to be clear, this isn't a call for help to my RL peoples to come over/call - that is unless you want me to yell at you over nothing and then sob an apology into your shoulder/receiver. This is just me documenting the joys of being a mom. Man, I love this little boy.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Ninja Boy
Today the fuzzlet has been insanely active, but for a change, so have I. Woot. This is a big breakthrough for me since up until today, whenever he has been kicking like an action movie hero, I have been about as active as a bar of soap. Today he was so excitable that he kicked my massage therapist in the thumb when she was working near my abdomen. At this rate, I'm fairly certain that our dreams of him becoming a space ninja will come true.
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